Among The Fantasy and Reality
I did a late night talking by text to kill my boredom with some of my friends discussing to which one will they choose: fantasy or reality. Some of them gave the feedback and we have a well construct discussion.
To commence this article, I should tell you that the question was inspired from a miniseries which I watched because of my friend canceled the zoom meeting agenda. In the other hand, I was upset as it meant we should postpone our chit chat ritual to the next day hahaha…
Well, at that time, I found something to do: watching some shitty videos on Youtube. Then, a random miniseries just came up and I watched that. It was about a straight couple having a small talk to develop the chemistry. The girl suddenly asked her boyfriend: “Which one will you choose, fiction or reality?”. Nevertheless, the boy changes the subject. He told his choice among sweet dream or nightmare and he down for nightmare. The girl asked why, then the boy replied. The answer just stunned me at that time. He said “I prefer nightmare to sweet dream. Because when you woke up, you will cherish that time and you realized that was just a dream”. Then the girl took a conclusion “So, you pick a reality to fantasy”. Fin. That was such a memorable and appealing scene for me.
Subsequently, I contemplate that scene. That was incredible scene and meaningful talk for me. I thought the girl’s question is to find out how the boy acquires his contentment. I tried to have my own answer for that question as well while watching that scene. Yet, that was all about how we find the happiness. For the boy, he obtains his happiness through living (in reality). Perhaps, for him, fantasy is just something that never happened. We should fight for that happiness in reality as it will be a real happiness. Of course, reality does not always provide the good things. Nevertheless, if we procure the happiness, it will feel real.
What about My Friends’ Answer?
Ok. I guess that girl’s purpose was right. That question was about figuring out how others find their pleasure. Because the answer to this question be able to perceive how people look at their life. I think the purpose of life mostly about how to conquer the obstacles which we met. Sometimes, those problems made us suffered or living in pain. No one like the pain. So basically, they always looking for happy ending in every journey of their life. We can argue that life is about being content or stay away from the discontents.
Most of my friends prefer reality to fantasy. Why? Of course, they came up with some different arguments, but the red line is they want the real happiness as they live in the reality. Two of them argued that basically, fiction is developed by reality. They opined that we need reality as a data to construct a fiction. In addition, dissatisfaction will help us to develop the fiction. Others added that pleasure which gained in reality is concrete. Sometimes, we live in pain and that is totally okay. Long story short, back to my argument previously, life is about conquering every problem we met. Problem is something to face and solve. This one does not want to life in simulacra.
So, I generated other question to see their consistency, which one will they choose: daydream, sweet dream, or nightmare. Most of them replied daydream and sweet dream. One who came up with sweet dream argue that it will be good if we have a delight “fiction” for a moment in a sweet dream because it is kind of part of life and will make our mood. Those who prefer daydreams say it is part of their thinking and reflecting process. They refuse to take daydreams as a fiction as it contains an expectation. For them, expectation is kind of hope and still based on data from empirical evidence. The basis of expectation came from the previous experience. For me, that is becomes interesting. So, now we have three aspects: fantasy, reality, and expectation which intersect with hope.
Ok, move to other statement, there is the only one of my friend who choose a fantasy. Why? He said that the fantasy is such an escape room from a reality. Living in fantasy born a new reality. It such an isolation to get a pleasure.
Then, what does he choose between daydream, sweet dream, and nightmare? His statement is such open my mind. At first, I was standing with the boy on the movie scene argument: choosing the nightmare because you will never regret it after you wake up. But then, my friend said:
“You treasure good health after illness too. I’d still never choose to be sick. In the same way, I’m sad after finishing a really good book. Would still rather have a good experience and be wistful about it than have a bad experience and be thankful it’s over”.
I don’t paraphrase any words of him.
That is such a make sense. Nevertheless, it also such a dialectics to Freud statement about “discontent is easier to experience” (Freud, 2022, p. 19). As Freud stated, we are threatened with discontent from three sources: our own bodies because they feel pain and anxiety; external forces that destroy us mercilessly; and our relationships with others. Freud argued that one of the coping mechanisms was avoiding discontent. Voluntary isolation can be the swiftest way to address the discontent that arises from relationships with others (Freud, 2022, p. 20).
I think my latest friend argument in line with Freud statement about voluntary isolation as my friend choose fantasy over reality. He will conduct his own reality in his fantasy. Then, assuming that “choosing never to be sick” is such a way of avoiding discontent. We must apprehend that avoiding discontent requires us to be cautious in our actions.
So, What?
Now, I think I already got the good answer from my dialectic over fantasy and reality. The purpose of life is looking for the contentment. Of course, everyone wants to live in harmony. So, we must find our way to obtain the pleasure. It is important to cherish the victory over discontent, but we should be careful of our actions to ensure that discontent doesn’t occur.
As a conclusion, what will I choose among fantasy and reality? That is a hard question. I choose reality. Why? Because I live in a real world and my purpose is to conquer the discontents in our civilization. What will I choose among daydream, sweet dream, and nightmare? Of course, a sweet dream. I will cherish that moment even if that just a moment. At least I have a cumulative data to construct the next sweet dream.
Fin.
References
Freud, S. (2022). Civilization and Its Discontentes. Yogyakarta: Immortal Publishing and Octopus.
